Did you see them? They were quite a show-stopper, rolling around Scarsdale last week. It’s not that unusual around here to see a family with small children biking together, especially on Bicycle Sundays when the Bronx River Parkway is devoted to bikers and walkers instead of cars. But seeing a family of four who are spending a whole year traveling by bike certainly is unusual.  I hope you were one of the lucky ones who got to meet Heidi and Reuben VanderKwaak and their two small children, Eden and Harper, during their recent stay in Scarsdale. 

This unique family has been traveling self-contained by bike for the last 11 months. They've toured all around North America and Central America. When they rolled into Scarsdale they’d ridden over 12,000 kilometers from Ontario to Washington, down the entire west coast and into Central America all the way to Panama. Now they are headed up the East coast for their last month of biking before returning home to Hamilton, Ontario.  

Daughter Eden, who turned five the day the family arrived in our community, was able to name all the countries she’d been to and link them to the various country flags sprouting from the back of their bike trailer.

Their caravan includes two bikes ridden by the grownups, each packed with waterproof panniers holding camping equipment, a few sets of clothing, cooking supplies, and other needed bike items. Oh, and toys, lots of lightweight toys! The children have the choice of riding behind Dad on a double set of child seats, or riding behind Mom’s bike in a twin trailer. Reuben fondly called the trailer “the kids' playroom” when the family gave a presentation on their trip to the Greenville Church Nursery School students. 

Maybe the idea of doing something like a year long bike ride with two small children sounds impossible to you. Maybe it sounds exciting. However it sounds, know this: this pedal-powered family is having a great time. 

They’re calling it adventurous simple living. For them, it’s about strengthening relationships with family, friends, and even strangers along the way.  They are focusing on living in the now and living more fully in line with their life values.  You can read lots more about them and their big adventure on their website www.PedalPoweredFamily.com

It’s not for everyone, but it sure is for them.

I have to say, they inspired me. I had the pleasure of hosting them during their stay. I'm proud to say, I'm related to them. The visit gave me time to pick their brains and hearts about their goals, their fears, and things they had learned during the year. I got to talk to the kids as well as the parents. I also had the chance to ride along with them for about 25 miles during the Five Borough Ride. I watched how they do it. I was impressed. 

I was inspired by the close bond I saw between them. They are amazingly connected as a family.

I was inspired by their delight in simple living. They dared to dream outside the box, and they are satisfied. They aren’t longing for bigger and better. Pretty refreshing.

I was inspired by their resilience and flexibility. The year’s experiences have required fortitude and dedication.

I was inspired by their parenting.  Both parents know the kids inside out and respect and love them in intense ways. 

I was inspired by the kids. They are pretty darn cool, both of them. 

What they are doing is pretty far out. Off the grid of daily life as we know it in Scarsdale. Not something everyone can do, or wants to do. Actually, I was inspired by that too.  When's the last time you bucked the system and followed your heart in ways that were different?

When's the last time you jumped in with both feet to do something that you really wanted to do but involved risk and the unknown?

It seems to me they are making do with less, yet having more.

Maybe they’ll inspire you too.  

Published in Scarsdale Patch News March 30, 2011

The sun finally came out!  We were desperate for some good outdoor exercise.  So we got on our bikes and rode north on the Bronx River bike path.  Mind you, we were wearing winter gear for this spring ride, as it was only 42 degrees.  But, heh, we’d liberated our bikes from their winter storage, and we felt liberated too.  It’s a pretty nice ride along the river, if you tune out the cars rushing by alongside. 

We cruised along, felt carefree and almost silly with spring delights.

We ended up in Valhalla facing the immense Kensico stone dam and reservoir, a water source for New York City.  And there it was, in startling counterpoint to the dam, a lofty 80 foot steel memorial to Westchester victims of September 11, swaying slightly in the wind.  The eye catching monument, “The Rising,” memorializes the 112 people of Westchester County who died.  You can literally walk into the heart of this shimmering memorial.  I think its creator, Frederic Schwartz, intended just that kind of connection for visitors.  Really, you don’t just view this memorial-- you experience it.  If you haven’t been there yet, it’s worth a trip, by bike or by car.  Take the kids and grandparents.  Uncles and aunts too.

At first, I resisted stopping my bike to take a closer look.  I didn’t want to lose the invigoration of my bike ride to focus on tragedy, terrorism and death.  I thought I would cruise right on by and think of it as a cool sculpture.  I wanted to block out the negative reason for its existence.  But I did stop.  And I was inspired.  Invigorated even.  You see, all around the base of this sculpture are quotations about life, and love, and meaning.  Each victim’s family was invited to add text about their loved one to be forever etched in granite.  I’ve read (and heard read) lists of the September 11 victims’ names, but I’ve never experienced the intimacy these quotes provided.  They gave me entrée into how the people lived, what they cared about, and why they were loved.  The New York Times said of this monument, “This strange, shimmering tower, which aims skyward and lifts the heart with it, seems likely to be simultaneously a place for solemn remembrance and a source of delight. That’s a paradox, but one we will be only too glad to puzzle over.” 

 Here’s text from one stone that moved me deeply:

Alan W. Friedlander

 April 23, 1949 – September 11, 2001

Always loving.

Always caring.

Always giving.

Always sharing.

I would have liked to meet Allan.  I don’t know anything about his profession, how much money he made or what size house he had, but I can tell from the inscription, he left a great legacy. 

How do you want to be remembered?   Most of us prefer not to think too much about our death.  But, now and then, it is good to step back and do an aerial inventory of our lives.  What do I value?  What is important to me?  Is my life reflecting these values?  What would people say about me if I died suddenly? 

Questions like these don’t have to be macabre.  They can serve as a catalyst to get our daily lives in line with our life’s values.  Thinking about them can help us live intentionally.  It makes sense, doesn’t it, to have what you view as most important show up clearly in how you live?   Steven Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People suggests we consider beginning with the end in mind.

So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty--successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Here’s another inspiring tribute from the monument:

Ronald Bucca

September 11, 2001

Family man, friend, fireman, soldier, nurse.

An ordinary man

who lived an extraordinary life. 

Our Love.

We build our life legacies each day.  It’s Emily Dickinson who said, “Forever is composed of nows.”  Visiting the memorial inspired me to act each day like I want to be remembered.  Most of us are ordinary people.  Let the memory of Ronald and Allen invigorate you to make your ordinary life one that includes an extraordinary legacy of loving, caring, giving, and sharing.

For further information on the memorial, visit http://www.schwartzarch.com/projects/westchester_memorial.html

Tamera Schreur is a internationally experienced psychotherapist with a new practice in Scarsdale, NY serving individuals, couples and families. She has 20 years of experience helping people build stronger relationships and better lives.  Visit her website at:  http://www.FamilyTherapyInWestchester.com